Baby Boy Birthdays in Heaven

Tomorrow my baby boy, Jack, would have celebrated his 5th birthday if he had lived on here on this earth. I have always been careful not to think about what might have been. But tonight, I can't help wondering what it would be like if he was here. We would be excited about tomorrow and he would probably be telling everyone with a whole handful of fingers that he would be the all important "5". I really think that he would have looked a lot like Ty (because all my kids look so much alike at each age), so I can imagine his beautiful face and a sweet smile. 

But thinking about what might have been doesn't get us anywhere but a heart full of hurt, does it? I can think about what is though. 

Today, God brought to mind a song that Mandisa wrote about another baby boy that was taken to heaven just when he was about to begin his life on earth, when she penned "You Wouldn't Cry (Andrew's Song)". Although Andrew was her 1st child and Jack was my 4th, our birth situations were so similar. And after researching a bit, I found out that she had her Andrew just a few months after our Jack. 

This song was inspired by a pregnant woman named Rebecca, who Mandisa met at one of her shows in 2008. As they talked, Mandisa prayed for God's protection over the baby. The following week the little boy, who Rebecca had called Andrew, was stillborn. When Mandisa heard the tragic news she wrote the grieving mom a letter, along with a CD of songs she had compiled, to encourage Rebecca. Mandisa told Christian Music Today: "I remember thinking there was no song that was going to be from Andrew's perspective." The following week the singer got together with Cindy Morgan to pen some songs. Mandisa told her songwriting partner Rebecca's story, and after contemplating what Andrew would say to his mom, they wrote this moving number about the wonders the little boy is experiencing in heaven with God. Later Mandisa had the privilege of singing the song for Rebecca. She told Christian Music Today: "It brought her so much comfort to think that when she sees her son again he's going to be able to show her around heaven and show her all the things he's been experiencing. It's my prayer, and I know it's Rebecca's prayer, that Andrew's song would encourage others who are going through similar loss."




I know that this song did encourage others who were going through a similar loss. I remember hearing the song and the story behind it one day on KLOVE as I was driving down the road. It helped me so much to hear it that day. 


It reminded me that even though I was missing him and that I felt so heartbroken, that if I could get past the limits of my feeble human brain and have a glimpse of the paradise he now lived in, I wouldn't cry anymore. Our God is faithful and His word is true. Jack is where "blue has never been bluer, true has never been truer". He hears the "song in the breeze, a million voices in praise" He is where "a rose has never smelled redder, the sun has never been brighter".

Tomorrow, instead of birthday candles and cake, my boy will spend his day with the Light of the World and know the Bread of Life. Instead of a birthday song, he'll hear angels singing praises to the King all day long.

What momma could be sad about that?


If you have a chance, listen to the song but the lyrics are pasted here below for you to read.

"You Wouldn't Cry (Andrew's Song)"

All you saw was pain
All you saw was rain
But you should see me now
Moments filled with tears
Lasted all those years
Disappeared somehow
You never said goodbye
On your knees you cry
You're still asking why, but

Blue has never been bluer
True has never been truer
Honey never tasted so sweet
There's a song in the breeze
A million voices in praise
A rose has never smelled redder
The sun has never been brighter
If I could find the right words to say
If you could look at my face
If you could just see this place
You wouldn't cry for me today

What you think you see
Isn't really me
I'm already home
You've got to lay it down
'Cause Jesus holds me now
And I am not alone
Your faith is wearing thin
But I am watching Him
And He's holding you too, and

[Chorus]

What may seem like years will just be a moment
Oh, the day will come when I'll show you where you're going
I can't wait to show you that

[Chorus]

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mandisa/youwouldntcryandrewssong.html

I Know Who You Are

Lately, life just doesn't seem to be going my way. For months now, it just seems like there has been one problem after another. Physical, emotional, financial, and relational problems have come in waves, each overlapping the other with some yet to recede.

At times I feel my world may never be right again. Frustration, anger, disappointment, and fear seem to have brought their luggage with them to unload on me and stay a while. I try throwing their garments back at them, and asking them to leave. But sometimes my strength fails and it is easier to succumb to their weight than to fight.

But then He whispers, "I care for you", in some way or another. No matter what time of day I am in the car, that song comes on the radio. I know He is the one that did that.  He is the one who made that one  daffodil bloom before all the others just along my sidewalk at home so that I would see it looking up at me every time I passed it by. I've told you before about daffodils and His promise that Spring will always come no matter how hard the winter.

When I tell Him that I can't see and that I am frightened, He brings to mind His faithfulness to me in the past. He reminds me of scriptures that hold His promises to prosper me and to make all things work together for good. When I am weary and worn, He reminds me that when I am weak, He is strong. When the hurt threatens to choke me, He tells me that He is The Healer.

I am there. That place where I am nothing. I can't fix this. I can't even bear it on my own. I am helpless, totally dependent on You. I can't see the end. I don't know the outcome.

You are Love. You are Truth. You are Faithful. You are God. You are King. You are Gentle. You are Kind. You are Grace. You are Beginning. You are End. You are Forever. You are Father. You are Provider. You are Healer. You are Constant. You are Keeper of my Soul. You are Just. You are my heart's Home. You are More than Enough.

So, even though I do ask "why?" at times, in the end it is enough, Lord, that even though I don't know what You are doing right now, I know Who You are. Help me to be found faithful as You are.


JJ Heller's "Who You Are"

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

        2 Corinthians 12:9

       But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made      

        perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my     

       weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me

        Psalm 147:3

       He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Anna Becoming