Restore, Chapter 1---Community

This post has been a while in the making and as I sit this evening and attempt to put it all together I realize that there is too much to share for just one post. I will begin at the beginning and work and blog until it is all said. 

As I search for words to introduce the subject, I feel it is best that I use words that have already been written and not seen by all of you. We sent this letter out to a small group of family and friends a few weeks ago. 

Dear Friends,

Only a few of you know that Eric and I have been having a particularly difficult time as husband and wife lately. Some of these troubles have been around since our beginning. Instead of really confronting and dealing with the issues when they reared their ugly heads, they were hastily glazed over or not even looked at before they were swept away into a closet that held all the things that we couldn’t or wouldn’t think about at the time. That closet became so full that the door sprung open and the mess spilled into our “neat looking” home. These last months we have been desperately trying to clean up the garbage and try to find a way forward instead of giving up. 

June 29th will be our 15th wedding anniversary. In January, Eric and I talked about renewing our vows. Time passed and we talked ourselves out of doing it. I mean, why would anyone want to do that? You can do it privately, right? I didn’t want just a big show and, frankly, I was frightened. 

It scared me that we might fail again. This time more publicly than the last. You see, even though we see God at work in us and we are dealing with the problems, they are still there. Satan plagues us with our insecurities and weaknesses. We are under attack, my friends, and I knew that standing in front of others wanting to begin again would set him upon us worse than before.   

Well, the other day, I felt like the Lord spoke to me and told me that we needed to do this. It would not just be a “renewal of vows” but a restoration ceremony. He gave me the order, the songs, what He wants us to say. After talking it over with Eric again, we proceed. 

I believe God wants us to do this for 3 reasons:

--So that, together, we can celebrate the faithfulness, kindness, mercy and love that the Lord has extended on us, the undeserving. These 15 years have not been without blessing. Although there are other reasons to be thankful, Ty, Tess, Amelia, Jack and Dinah are at the top of that list.

--So that we can show others that might be having difficulty, they are not alone and there is help. I have had people tell me, “I wish we had what you and Eric have.” Others have thought we are “perfect”. Natalie Grant sings, “There’s no such thing as perfect people; There’s no such thing as a perfect life”. We aren’t perfect and we want others to know that they can do as we seek to do, “Come as you are, broken and scarred, Lift up your heart and be amazed and changed by a perfect God.” 

--He wants us to stand in front of all you, open in our troubles, weak, and tired, sometimes wanting to give up. In that brokenness, He wants you to be the witnesses to our PLANTING OF A FLAG OF BELIEF to say that HE WILL RESTORE. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________                 

In the days that led up to this service. I felt the Lord confirmed our decision to do this over and over. One of the things that I read during this time, was a entry on Ann Voscamp's blog with guest blogger Max Lucado, called "Step One: When You Feel Like You Are Sinking Fast".

I don't know about you, but even this over-sharer keeps some things to herself. Especially the things that hurt the most. It is difficult to admit you are suffering. It is hard to say why. Satan loves to place us under condemnation of our own making. We look around and we think we are the only ones failing. It is easier to cover it up, pretend, and hide. Sadly, it seems that we masquerade the most around the people that we should be able to be the most transparent with.

In this openness, we don't have to share dirty details. If the people you share with only want the details, then you probably shouldn't be sharing with them. As God's people we should care about the person, not the juicy gossip that can be wrung from the situation. It is the response we are afraid of. What will they think of me? Will they talk about me? Will I somehow become  an untouchable, one that no one will associate with? I think that praying for the sick is very important but is that still the majority of the items on the prayer list? I think that shows we are SCARED.

Even though there are some that will have that bad reaction, I believe in the best of the Church. There are people there waiting to embrace you with their arms, their love and their prayers. We mustn't let the fear of some keep us from the help of most.

Max writes,

"Tough times stir the hermit within us. We want to hide out, run away and avoid human contact. In reality, we need community. Lean on God’s people.  

Cancel your escape to the Himalayas. Forget the deserted island. Be a barnacle on the boat of God’s church." 

Would the sick avoid the hospital?

The hungry avoid the food pantry? 

Would the discouraged abandon God’s Hope Distribution Center? Only at great risk. His people purvey His presence.

He goes on to describe the events that take place in Exodus 17:8-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

^"8 While the people of Israel were still at Rephidim, the warriors of Amalek attacked them.⁹ Moses commanded Joshua, “Choose some men to go out and fight the army of Amalek for us. Tomorrow, I will stand at the top of the hill, holding the staff of God in my hand.”¹⁰ So Joshua did what Moses had commanded and fought the army of Amalek. Meanwhile, Moses, Aaron, and Hur climbed to the top of a nearby hill. ¹¹ As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. ¹² Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. ¹³ As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle."

Moses raised his arms in prayer for the battle but he became weary. Aaron and Hur were there to keep holding his arms up even when he was tired so that Israel and the Lord would win the battle. On June 29th, we asked for help. We asked for aide to brace our weary arms that had become noodle-like because they had been raised in prayer for so long.

I shared that day that as I thanked those that came to support us, that it isn't just about a difficult marriage. There are a lot of things that we struggle with here on this earth. We all need help at times. How many battles have been lost because we didn't ask for help? How many battles have been lost because we didn't offer help?

Oh, church! That we would share the battle! That we wouldn't be scared to say we are tired! That we wouldn't run away from a soul that looks like a hot mess! That we would be brave enough to REACH OUT, to STAY, and to spend our time HOLDING UP weary arms in Jesus Name!