It doesn't last for very long. As soon as I get to work and see my friends there and get started taking care of others the feeling fades. But it starts a short while before I leave in the evening. I felt this way for the first time this year last night. I mentioned it to Eric as I put my shoes on. He paused to encourage me. He wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders and whispered words of comfort. "Just think, tomorrow night, at 7:00 pm, we will all be together as a family, watching the game of the year in our living room."
I smiled archly. "Yes, I had forgotten about that. Alabama football does give me a reason to go on."
He smiled back and squeezed my arm, "Just think of the recruiting possibilites when we beat LSU! All the graduates will say, 'I want to play for that team'". I rolled my eyes and gave him a big hug back, enjoying his excitement.
When Eric and I were dating and football season rolled around, I remember asking him innocently, "Do you really care that much about whether they win or not? I mean it doesn't really have anything to do with you, does it?" When Eric came too after he fainted (just kidding but there was a lot of shock involved), he tried to explain why he cared so much. He told me things about watching "The Bear" as a boy, memorizing stats, and following the players for their whole careers. He told me about his first time in Bryant-Denny stadium. His eyes gleamed as he spoke of National Championships.
You see, I didn't understand. Growing up in our house, football was never that big of a deal. Sure, we watched the Egg Bowl at Thanksgiving and I had even been to a State game. But I didn't love it like he did.
Boy, did I learn a lot those first few years! I knew I was really getting somewhere when Eric allowed me to stay in the house during and Alabama game. For a while I was banished at game time because I talked during the game. I dared to speak when it wasn't even about the game. I know. I know. With time I got the gist of what was happening. I learned that talking was permited during commercials and at half time after the sportscasters synopsis of the first half. I learned to be quiet if they lost and to cheer appropriately they won. I learned that "we" won or "we" lost.
I didn't loathe this education. I wanted to learn so that I could please my husband. Not because he was tyrannical and I was scared of him, but because it his pleasure was my pleasure. I've never seen him so excited as when he took me to my first game in Tuscaloosa. He acted as host to a visitor in his home. He pointed out so many things, I couldn't look fast enough. He led me in cheers. You would have thought "The Million Dollar Band" was just playing for us. I had a wonderful time seeing what he loves.
Eric has had to learn about a few things as well. I love old movies, especially musicals. Yes, the kind where the actors break out in song for no apparent reason. I not only like to watch them in movies but in the theatre too. I like symphonies, ballets, opera, and plays. For a while, when I was able to go events like these, I had to go with my sisters. A few years ago, Eric surprised me with tickets to a musical in Memphis for a Christmas present. We attended in January and made a night of it. We had such a good time. I turned to him frequently as the players danced and sang to see if he was asleep or lowering his head in shame, but he didn't. He was laughing at all the right parts along with the rest of the crowd. On the ride home, he admited that it wasn't that bad. He even keeps taking me back.
You may think it is funny that my sporty, manly man attends musicals and plays, but I find it makes him even more of a man. He probably wouldn't go to them without me. He goes because I love it and he wants to love me by sharing them with me. He knows that I probably wouldn't watch every Alabama game or keep up with scores if he didn't care about them. I care because he cares.
On day 14 of The Love Dare, the authors speak about making the decision to take delight in our spouses.
In ourselves, after the new feeling wears off, we can become irritated with the tendencies of our mates. Alabama football could drive me crazy. Musical theatre does drive many people crazy. We could chose to not understand and refuse to take part. But because I love Eric and he loves me, we chose to take the time to look at something new and different. Even if we don't enjoy the activity as much as something we would have chosen, we enjoy being together and loving on each other. We don't always make the unselfish choice, but in these things we have and we are better for it.
So if you find yourself feeling alienated from your mate, take a close look and see who did the alienating. Was it just as much your fault as their's as you lost interest in them and the unique person they are? The author writes:
"Enjoy your spouse. Take her hand and seek her companionship. Desire his conversation. Remember why you fell in love with her personality. Accept this person---quirks and all---and welcome him or her back into your heart."
I love Eric Paul Lancaster and I want our days to be filled with unselfishness and delight in one another. So I still watch football. I hope someday that when the quarterback fakes the other team that he doesn't fake me also. Eric and I won't ever have all the same interests, but we make a killer team at Trivial Pursuit. Together we are a great team. And hopefully our children will see that it wasn't all about Eric or Anna, but that in some ways we mirrored God's unselfish love in our lives.
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