We Only Cut Paper With Scissors

She looks so sweet here. She's cutting up index cards and saying, "We cut paper with scissors. We don't cut nofin' else with scissors", to herself.  

It's really all an act though. She knows I'm in the room. I have a feeling when I'm not watching she wears a sinister smile throws back her head and cackles, "We cut EVERYTHING with scissors!!! Hahahahaha!!" And then proceeds to cut everything in sight. 

Then she pulls out the little innocent face when I find that she has cut a whole in her Matilda Jane shirt or and inch off of her hair or the bathroom rug. "Dinah! We only cut paper with scissors!" 

Her perfect little mouth forms an O and she tilts her head and says, "Oohhhhh". Like she's never heard it before. If she had only known...

She passes the scissors to me as if they are offensive to her and she can't bear to hold them another second then clasps her hands in front of her. She stares at the floor with her precious, sad face only raising her eyes and flattering her lashes to peek at me occasionally as I rave on. 

"We only cut paper with scissors, Dinah," I say in another futile attempt to make her understand. 

Why don't you just keep the scissors from her?

Thanks for the suggestion. You are too kind.

I'VE TRIED!!

Believe me, I don't know where she gets them. I have a scissor stash out of her reach and she always finds another pair. She might as well be Edwina Scissorhands.

They are just things, aren't they?

But for heaven's sake, "WE ONLY CUT PAPER WITH SCISSORS!!"