The LORD is my Portion

I have always needed lots of sleep or at least that I can remember. (I’ll have to ask momma about the early days and as I am up very early right now, she will probably appreciate that I don’t call her right now to inquire.) Naps are one of the most wonderful things. In high school and college, if the social occasion didn’t end at least by ten p.m., I wouldn’t be able to be there. I trained my little ones early to nap at the same time so Mommy could nap with them.




Lately, I have been having lots of trouble sleeping. (Well, if you can call the past 6 years of working night shift “lately”.) It seems that my world revolves around sleep even more now that I don’t have much of it than it did when I had more than enough.



“When will I sleep?”



“I can’t sleep.”



“Oh, if I could only sleep for a little while!”



“I’m sorry, I can’t come. I have to sleep.”



“Did I wake you up? I never know when you are sleeping.”



And my favorite, “Mommy, why do you sleep all of the time?”



Throw in a few children, a pregnancy or two, sick children, bad dreams, a baby who wouldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time, EVER, and that about wraps up the reasons that I carry so much luggage underneath my eyes and have decided that I might never be able to leave the house without make-up again.



Like as not, if you have had a conversation with me and made the mistake of asking me, “How are you?”, you have heard me talk about sleep or the lack thereof. Poor you. You are probably as tired of hearing it as I am living it. And as you see, here I am again going on about it.



I have been praying to God about this sleep need for a while now. I have asked Him to get me more sleep. I have presented suggestions on how He can make that happen. If He had a mailbox, He would have already received blueprints to 5 different plans. I’ve recruited others to pray about it too. I’m sure Eric has been lifting up prayers each time he rolls his eyes heavenward and sighs because of my general crankiness and or odd times he is left to fend for himself with 4 children. But here I am at what some would call an “ungodly” hour (I don’t because all hours are godly, because He made them and He is up anyway) typing away.



Well, He hasn’t cured my sleep problem yet. Even with all that praying and pleading. This morning, after He had probably given up all attempts of reaching me subtlety, He sent me a message in black and white. Here it is,

2 Corinthians 6: 4-10



“4.But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, 5. in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings, 6. by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, 7. by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, 8. by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; 9. as unknown and yet well known, as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; 10. as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing, as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing and yet possessing all things.”



Did you read that in verse 5? I am to commend myself as a minister even in SLEEPLESSNESS. I haven’t been much of a minister about it. I have complained myself right out of that. Others are looking at the way I handle my situation. No matter what it is. I am to present myself in “purity, knowledge, longsuffering, kindness, the presence of the Holy Spirit, sincere love, the word of truth, the power of God and the armor of righteousness on all sides” in whatever situation God allows me to be in so that I can show that I can walk the faith I claim.



God’s ways aren’t our ways. God created our bodies for sleeping at times so that we can rest. Am I getting all that I want right now? No. Am I getting all that I need? Apparently, because I haven’t been admitted to the hospital for exhaustion.



Is God using my wakeful times? Yes. In the quiet of early hours , I clean dishes, I sweep floors, I wash clothes. I make food for my family so that we don’t have to eat out all of the time. I am able to spend an hour in His presence soaking up His word, talk to Him and listen to Him. I am able to write down what I am learning. I have been able to exercise on almost all my days off.



Yes, I asked God for sleep. But, I also asked Him for time to clean my house. I asked Him to help me become more disciplined with exercise, food, and time with Him. I asked Him to increase my faith and to help my unbelief. I asked Him for the opportunity to minister to others.



So next time when you ask me, “How are you?”, hopefully my answer will be filled with the ways that God is using my sleepless hours instead of complaining about wanting more sleep. Sleep is good. God is better.



YAHWEH CHELQI “The LORD is my PORTION”