Restore, Chapter 4--When Things Don't Go As Planned

You probably know that is a picture of our youngest daughter, Dinah. What you don't know if you weren't with us that day, is that she was dancing. 

While I was readying in the bride's room for the ceremony, I got a text from my friend, Alesha. It was a video of Dinah dancing to the instrumental music that we had playing as our guests were being seated and waiting for the ceremony to begin. She swooped and twirled, swayed and sashayed in time to the music. (She loves to watch Barbie movies and I am assuming this is where she got all of her beautiful steps from because she has never had a lesson.) One of her favorite people, Mr. Taft came by to hug her in the video. She never misses a hug from Mr. Taft but she got away from hug as quickly as possible so that she could continue dancing. 

If this had happened with my first child, (not that Ty would have been doing ballet anyway), or even my second, I might have been upset that she wasn't behaving properly, sitting next to her Nana and sisters. As I've gotten older though and with each child, I have realized that there are somethings that are ok. And if she wanted to dance while she was waiting, so be it. It made me smile.

At this point, I assumed that she would be sitting down after the service started. We had considered letting the children stand around us as we exchanged our vows but we felt that Dinah, being 3 years old, would not want to stand there so I installed her Papa, Eric's father, on a particular pew just to care for her while my mother sat alongside them with the older children. Papa brought stickers and a coloring book for her. I just knew she would want to sit with him. 

Eric and I did not walk down the aisle to begin the ceremony. We wanted to be able to experience the music and the speaker without being on display down at the front of the church. We didn't even enter the back of the church and go up to the balcony until after the welcome and Beth Mitchell was singing the first song. The first thing I noticed as I sat down, (beside the fact that it was difficult to sit down in that dress) was that Dinah was still dancing. 

Even the cool, laid-back, older mom in me was a little uncomfortable with this. We all thought it was precious BEFORE the ceremony, but now too? I noticed my older daughters were motioning violently at the end of their pew for her to come to them. The whole time the only sound she made was to turn toward them and "Shushhhh!" them loudly with her finger over her mouth. It was if SHE was telling THEM to quit interrupting the service. 

I was concerned for Beth. I was proud that she was holding it together. Dinah was looking to Beth to know how the music would go. When the music stopped, Dinah held her pose and looked at Beth like, "Is that all?" I caught myself and told myself to let go and not worry about it. I didn't want it to distract me from the day. I took a deep breath and didn't let it bother me. 

We were blessed to have Tommy Wilson deliver a sermon for our ceremony. His text was from Isaiah 40: 28-31.

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.
 He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

He spoke about how that 15 years ago, Eric and I probably thought we knew how our lives would go. That in our minds we had a plan. We all think we know how the story will go. We have our hopes and dreams that we pray become reality. And that as we stand here today and look back, that our lives probably didn't go as planned. He alluded to our wedding day and our "honeymoon", and to the fact that wasn't probably what I had always hoped. (I had never spoken to him about that so he didn't know. God did though.) He said that because of this we, even us who are "youths" had grown tired. That we "stumble and fall". 

He continued to say that even though the first 15 years didn't go as planned that didn't mean that the next 15 or 30 or until death do us part, can't be wonderful with God's help. If we keep our eyes on Him and place our "hope in the Lord" that He will "renew our strength" for the coming years. Our past doesn't have to define us. It will just be a place so that we can show later how far God as brought us.

He mentioned that as we planned this day and this service that we probably didn't "plan" on a 3 year-old dancing through the service. But it was beautiful all the same. God has a plan too and even though it isn't the same as ours, when we follow Him, there will be loveliness.

Dinah danced through the next song. She sat beside us as we knelt at the altar in prayer. She hugged our legs. She sat on the steps as we renewed our vows. She didn't say a word the whole time. It was if God sent an angel to hold her hand and lead her around that day.

My Ty, Tess, and Amelia were fantastically behaved and my mama gets a medal for taking care of all of them all morning, that afternoon and the next day. What would we do without our mama's?

One thing that I didn't plan on those 15 years ago was this big beautiful family, but God sent them to me anyway. His plan is so much better than mine. (Always thinking of our boy, Jack, who is already with Jesus, when we have a family portrait.)

Ty, our oldest, said he was excited about this ceremony because he missed the first one. :)