A Few of My Favorite Things

Below is a list of some of my favorite things. They are in no particular order and this list is not exhaustive.
You might find a few of your favorites or see some new things you want to try.

1. Peppermint Bark-Can't find it any other time of the year and it is so delish!

2. Holiday Inn and White Christmas-I love old movies and these are two of the best.

3. Decaf English Breakfast Hot tea- Great to drink on a cold winter's day.

4. The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski-Just a good book to read to your kids.

5. The ADVENTure of Christmas: Helping Children Find Jesus in our Holiday Traditions by Lisa Whelchel- I love this book. We have been reading it in the evenings. It highlights Christmas traditions, their history, and how that tradition can shine the story of Jesus.

6. Hallmark Christmas movies-There is a Christmas movie on almost every afternoon or evening. They are good family movies and about one of our most favorite things! How great is that!

7 .Marathon Christmas shopping with to get it all done in one day-Christmas shopping is always a little difficult for me. Emily and I flew through Corinth on her birthday and did a great job gettingwhat I wanted to purchase for everyone. It is especially hard though when it comes to the children. Eric and I want to go together to purchase the gifts for them. The problem is that I work weekends and Eric works during the week. I have to wait for him to be out of school to shop. That is very close to Christmas. With the help of Papa and Nana, we hopped in the car, jetted to Florence, and made it home in record time. Score!

8. Detailed lists that make marathon Christmas shopping possible-This year I had a plan and it came together nicely. "I love it when a plan comes together!"

9. Going to the mailbox-I don't get very much "good" mail and the Christmas season brings so much "good" mail! I can't wait to see that longhand writing as I flip through the envelopes.

10. My Christmas card window- I frame my kitchen window with the Christmas cards we receive. I stop several times a day and look at them and I often spy my other family members pausing to look.

11. My Christmas tree ornaments and home decor- As I pull out our Christmas decorations, I have the privilege of remembering all of the sweet people who gave many of them to us. My mind flashes to the children Eric has taught in school, the faces of my GA's, the boys and girls we led in Sunday
School, and my lovely friends.

12. Riding around town looking at Christmas lights-we don't have the storage space for a yard full of
decorations but I LOVE yours! Keep putting them out!

13. Mary's song (Luke 1: 46-55)

14. Hearing my children sing Christmas carols-sweet voices singing the songs that have been sung for a
couple hundred years because they never go out of style

15. Christmas Eve service-can't wait!

16. Spending time with our extended familes-They are pretty cool folks. Super good gene pools.

17. All the GIVING going on!

18. Christmas music-"Still, Still, Still" is at the top of my list

I'll leave you with the lyrics to "Still, Still, Still". Become "Still, Still, Still" and read the words and
"dream, dream, dream of the joyous day to come".

Happy Christmas, my friends.

     

Still, still, still,

One can hear the falling snow.

For all is hushed,

The world is sleeping,

Holy Star its vigil keeping.

Still, still, still,

One can hear the falling snow.

 

Sleep, sleep, sleep,

'Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth.

The night is peaceful all around you,

Close your eyes,

Let sleep surround you.

Sleep, sleep, sleep,

'Tis the eve of our Saviour's birth.

Dream, dream, dream,

Of the joyous day to come.

While guardian angels without number,

Watch you as you sweetly slumber.

Dream, dream, dream,

Of the joyous day to come

Christmas Card

Sweet And Scrappy Christmas Card

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View the entire collection of cards.

Offspring Anecdotes

I can't describe to you the delight I take in my children. I love them to pieces and cherish every second I have with them. Here are a few things that have happened lately to make me smile.

____________________________________________________________

I was readying to go out to town and run some errands a few days ago and asked Ty to get dressed so that he could go with me. He descended the stairs in t-shirt and shorts. Since it was 45 degrees outside I asked him to go put some pants on. He stopped short, huffed and vented his frustration, "Momma, I don't have any clean jeans that fit." He then sighed and seemed perplexed. "My clothes just haven't been coming back to me like they usually do."

Let me translate:

This is the way it usually works: Ty puts his dirty clothes in the magic dirty clothes portal (basket) and every day when he comes home from school, miraculously, a stack of clean clothes is on his bed.

I guess I would be a little miffed if my portal wasn't working either. Bless his heart. He got a run down on how the "portal" works and how he can be take part in the "magic" everyday.

___________________________________________________________________

Tess came to me with a long face one evening and lowered head.

I asked, "Why the long face, pet?"

She sat down on the bed beside me, sighed and lifted her large eyes my way. "Mom, I have a problem."

I said, "Aww." and then asked, "How can I help?"

Attempting not to smile she inquired, "Momma, were you popular in school?'

I replied, "No, not really."

She shrugged her shoulders, sighed and shook her head. "Well, I am. So, I guess you can't help me then."

I snickered a little. (I couldn't help it. Her confidence often borders on conceit. She just considers them the reality that she has to deal with.)

She rolled her eyes and said, "MOMMA!" We hugged and then she asked, "Was anyone in our family popular?"

I laughed and said, "Yes. Aunt Emmy or Aunt Rachel could help you."

She said, "Yeah, I thought so.I'm glad we have THEM."

"Yeah, me too."

I finally cajoled the "problem" out of her and we had a long discussion about friendship. popularity, humility, and what is really worth striving for.
___________________________________________________________

I returned home to my family on Friday evening just in time to change and head out again to go to work. As I washed my face and put on my scrubs, Amelia kept me company.She told me about her school Christmas party that they had that day. She proudly displayed all of the lip gloss and lotion she got from her teacher and friends. She was talking a mile a minute with her shiny, pink, glossy mouth and literally bouncing off the bedroom furniture. I asked her what she had been eating.

She smiled largely, jumped in front of me with her arms raised and spread high in the air, her feet out wide and bouncing at the knees she cried, "We had sweets at school and I FEEL GREAT!!!"

___________________________________________________________

Dinah's new favorite thing to do is to run up to the Christmas tree, stop short by about a foot, turn around and back up slowly until the branches touch her back. She then bends at the knees and moves up and down while the branches rub her back side. My innovative little toddler was able to take the back scratcher off her Christmas list to make room for another baby doll.


Soak up your time with your babies (big ones and small ones). Each moment or action has the potential to be a memory. Make it a good one!

Desert Alleluias

I drove home this morning in a fog; a fog of the mind. It was made partly of sleep deprivation and partly of sadness. My soul was laden with the pain of others suffering around me. Oh that I could ease it! But God doesn't need me to fix anything. He wants me to trust Him. As I pushed my heavy thoughts and heart heavenward, God transformed my groanings into alleluias. 

Psalm 63 (NLT)

A psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.

1 O God, you are my God;

I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

my whole body longs for you

in this parched and weary land

where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in your sanctuary

and gazed upon your power and glory.

3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;

how I praise you!

4 I will praise you as long as I live,

lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.

I will praise you with songs of joy.

6 I lie awake thinking of you,

meditating on you through the night.

7 Because you are my helper,

I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.

8 I cling to you;

your strong right hand holds me securely.

9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.

They will go down into the depths of the earth.

10 They will die by the sword

and become the food of jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God.

All who trust in him will praise him,

while liars will be silenced.

Charles Spurgeon writes about Psalm 63:


"A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. This was probably written while David was fleeing from Absalom; certainly at the time he wrote it he was king (Ps 63:11), and hard pressed by those who sought his life. David did not leave off singing because he was in the wilderness, neither did he in slovenly idleness go on repeating Psalms intended for other occasions; but he carefully made his worship suitable to his circumstances, and presented to his God a wilderness hymn when he was in the wilderness. There was no desert in his heart, though there was a desert around him. We too may expect to be cast into rough places ere we go hence. In such seasons, may the Eternal Comforter abide with us, and cause us to bless the Lord at all times, making even the solitary place to become a temple for Jehovah. The distinguishing word of this Psalm is EARLY. When the bed is the softest we are most tempted to rise at lazy hours; but when comfort is gone, and the couch is hard, if we rise the earlier to seek the Lord, we have much for which to thank the wilderness."


You see, God is good all the time. He is steadfast. He is perfect. He is wisdom. He is LOVE.


When you are surrounded by desert, drink from the Wellspring that abides within you. If you don't know Jesus, it would be my pleasure to introduce you.
(To read more of Charles Spurgeon's thoughts on this Psalm click here)

I'm Pregnant

PREGNANT: adjective

1.having a child or other offspring developing in the body; with child or young, as a woman or female mammal.

No, I am not pregnant with child. I hear some of your sighs of relief.
For those of you who got a little excited thinking that Eric and I may be having another child. Thank you. But we will keep you posted on further developments. :)


2.fraught, filled, or abounding (usually followed by with)
 
I am pregnant with joy.
 
Over the past few months, I have listened, read, and conversed with people from this great state and others that care about life. It didn't matter what side of the aisle of proposition 26 that the idividuals stood on, I heard over and over that people cared about life. That makes me happy.
 
 I am pregnant with expectation.
 
Like I said in my post When I vote yes...., I think a lot is expected from us. If we value life, our words need to be followed with actions. Don't just talk about it! Do something! I have spent the morning praying and asking God to show me ways that I can show others that I value life and love others like He does. He put in my mind so many ways.
 
3.teeming or fertile; rich (often followed by in): a mind pregnant in ideas.
 
At first, I thought of big things, like starting new ministries, adopting children, mission trips, changing jobs, or moving to another neighborhood, city, state or country. God may be calling you to one of these things. But then, I began to think of all the small ways that I needed to be obedient to now. I could value the lives of the neighbors I live by now, by getting to know them better, being their friend and helping meet their needs. I can drive someone who doesn't have a car to their appointments. Like a friend of mine suggested, I could provide childcare for someone who can't afford it. I can make food, or take clothing or home items to ministries already established. I can volunteer an hour to pray, counsel, clean, or do office work for them too.



4.full of meaning; highly significant: a pregnant utterance. 5.of great importance or potential; momentous: a pregnant moment in the history of the world.

I am pregnant with hope.

For those of you who are excited  and relieved that proposition 26 didn't pass but said you care about life, show the world you do care. Those of you who are sad or heavy hearted because of election results from yesterday: chin up! You have work to do. What if one group emerged from this election? What if we were all Mississippians for Life? What if we all walked the talk and respected each life to come and those that are already here?

This could be "a pregnant moment in the history of the world".


So lets all get pregnant! Let's all grow in expectation and joy as we work until the Lord's return. Let's all love like He does. Let's stop pointing fingers and talking and get the ministry started. Spend some time on your knees and in God's word and run to the place He is sending you.

Romans 8:24-28


The Message (MSG)

22-25All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.



Definitions courtesy of dictionary.com

When I vote yes....

Okay, I have more to say.

I wanted to add to what I wrote previously. I told you that I would vote yes on 26.There is a responsibility that comes with voting yes. Because I choose to vote yes, I also choose the following things:

1. I choose to pray daily and fervently about foster care and adoption. I choose to be open to either in our future.

2. I choose to be open to, prayerful about, and looking for opportunities to help those that are in crisis pregnancy situations. No matter how small I think my contribution might be, I want to be avaliable to help. My heart, my home, my pocketbook, and my love are prayerfully open to them.

3. I choose to support mothers and fathers who struggle to provide for their family.

4. I choose to spend time with children who need love and leadership because their parents are absent either by choice or by necessity.

5. I choose not to abandon the babies I fight for after they leave the womb.

6. I choose to withhold judgement and give out love instead.

I can't do everything but I can do something.

What Can I Say?

I've found myself at my keyboard, staring at a blank screen so often this past month. Every attempt to put my heart into words has failed. What can I say that hasn't been said by someone else?What if the person reading it takes my words in a different way than I mean? My vote is my own personal decision. I don't have to share what I think. But, maybe you want to hear it anyway. So, because the election is TOMORROW, I will try now.

I know you have probably seen this question over and over but I will include it here again:

"Should the term 'person' be defined to include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof?"

When I read those words for the first time, I knew what they meant to me. My question was, "what will this mean to those that interpret and defend our laws as they apply this proposition to our lives?". Frankly, I got a little scared.

You know what I didn't do after that? I didn't panic. I didn't poll my friends about the issue. I didn't believe everything that I read on Facebook.

You know what I did do? I prayed. I asked God to take away the fear and give me a sound mind. I poured out my concerns to Him. I listened for His answer. I read His word to see what He says about personhood, fertilization, cloning and the functional equivalent thereof. I sought wise council from my husband and a few others whom I trust, whom I know prayferfully consider issues, whom I know seek God's will through application of Scripture. I weighed the information against what I know to be true.

This is the conclusion I came to:

I believe that a fertilized embryo is a person. This proposition protects those persons.

If this amendment takes away some or all birth control, I trust that God can handle that.
If this amendment limits IVF or takes it away, I trust God can handle that.
If this amendment limits healthcare in any way, I trust God can handle that.

I have never been raped. I have never conceived a child by an abuser. I am so grieved that this happens. But the fact that the child is conceived in those situations does not make the child any less of a person. I believe that child has a right to life too. I trust God to heal in these situations.

I do believe that the life of the mother will be considered in light of non-viable pregnancies, i.e. ectopic and molar pregnancies. I trust God has the lives of those mothers in His hands too.

I don't know what "unintended consequences" that the words "cloning or the funtional equivalent thereof" will have in the distant future, but I trust God can handle that.

For those of you who will read this and say that God doesn't have anything to do with this, I beg to differ. The Creator of the universe has everything to do with everything.

All life is precious. I believe that this proposition adds to that and doesn't make any other life less valuable.

So I thank God in advance for the outcome tomorrow and know that God already knows what it is and can handle it.

I will vote yes tomorrow on Initiative 26.

So pray, pray, pray. On your face in the floor if you have to. But get peace about your vote tomorrow and go cast it however God leads you.




Philippians 4:5-7

New King James Version (NKJV)

"Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Football, ESPN, and Other Romantic Notions

Most of you know that I work at night. I never thought that I would be able to do it when I first started it, but I really don't mind it. Except sometimes. I usually have a little more trouble with it in the fall of the year. Times when the days are shorter and I drive to work in the dark, when the days are cooler and I want to be snuggled at home, when Eric and the children arrive at home just in time for me to leave and are making plans for some fun activity at home without me. The only way I know to describe it is being homesick. 

It doesn't last for very long. As soon as I get to work and see my friends there and get started taking care of others the feeling fades. But it starts a short while before I leave in the evening. I felt this way for the first time this year last night. I mentioned it to Eric as I put my shoes on. He paused to encourage me. He wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders and whispered words of comfort. "Just think, tomorrow night, at 7:00 pm, we will all be together as a family, watching the game of the year in our living room."

I smiled archly. "Yes, I had forgotten about that. Alabama football does give me a reason to go on."

He smiled back and squeezed my arm, "Just think of the recruiting possibilites when we beat LSU! All the graduates will say, 'I want to play for that team'". I rolled my eyes and gave him a big hug back, enjoying his excitement.

When Eric and I were dating and football season rolled around, I remember asking him innocently, "Do you really care that much about whether they win or not? I mean it doesn't really have anything to do with you, does it?" When Eric came too after he fainted (just kidding but there was a lot of shock involved), he tried to explain why he cared so much. He told me things about watching "The Bear" as a boy, memorizing stats, and  following the players for their whole careers. He told me about his first time in Bryant-Denny stadium. His eyes gleamed as he spoke of National Championships.

You see, I didn't understand. Growing up in our house, football was never that big of a deal. Sure, we watched the Egg Bowl at Thanksgiving and I had even been to a State game. But I didn't love it like he did.

Boy, did I learn a lot those first few years! I knew I was really getting somewhere when Eric allowed me to stay in the house during and Alabama game. For a while I was banished at game time because I talked during the game. I dared to speak when it wasn't even about the game. I know. I know. With time I got the gist of what was happening. I learned that talking was permited during commercials and at half time after the sportscasters synopsis of the first half. I learned to be quiet if they lost and to cheer appropriately they won. I learned that "we" won or "we" lost.

I didn't loathe this education. I wanted to learn so that I could please my husband. Not because he was tyrannical and I was scared of him, but because it his pleasure was my pleasure. I've never seen him so excited as when he took me to my first game in Tuscaloosa. He acted as host to a visitor in his home. He pointed out so many things, I couldn't look fast enough. He led me in cheers. You would have thought "The Million Dollar Band" was just playing for us. I had a wonderful time seeing what he loves.

Eric has had to learn about a few things as well. I love old movies, especially musicals. Yes, the kind where the actors break out in song for no apparent reason. I not only like to watch them in movies but in the theatre too. I like symphonies, ballets, opera, and plays. For a while, when I was able to go events like these, I had to go with my sisters. A few years ago, Eric surprised me with tickets to a musical in Memphis for a Christmas present. We attended in January and made a night of it. We had such a good time. I turned to him frequently as the players danced and sang to see if he was asleep or lowering his head in shame, but he didn't. He was laughing at all the right parts along with the rest of the crowd. On the ride home, he admited that it wasn't that bad. He even keeps taking me back.

You may think it is funny that my sporty, manly man attends musicals and plays, but I find it makes him even more of a man. He probably wouldn't go to them without me. He goes because I love it and he wants to love me by sharing them with me. He knows that I probably wouldn't watch every Alabama game or keep up with scores if he didn't care about them. I care because he cares.

On day 14 of The Love Dare, the authors speak about making the decision to take delight in our spouses.
In ourselves, after the new feeling wears off, we can become irritated with the tendencies of our mates. Alabama football could drive me crazy. Musical theatre does drive many people crazy. We could chose to not understand and refuse to take part. But because I love Eric and he loves me, we chose to take the time to look at something new and different. Even if we don't enjoy the activity as much as something we would have chosen, we enjoy being together and loving on each other. We don't always make the unselfish choice, but in these things we have and we are better for it.

So if you find yourself feeling alienated from your mate, take a close look and see who did the alienating. Was it just as much your fault as their's as you lost interest in them and the unique person they are? The author writes:

"Enjoy your spouse. Take her hand and seek her companionship. Desire his conversation. Remember why you fell in love with her personality. Accept this person---quirks and all---and welcome him or her back into your heart."

I love Eric Paul Lancaster and I want our days to be filled with unselfishness and delight in one another. So I still watch football. I hope someday that when the quarterback fakes the other team that he doesn't fake me also. Eric and I won't ever have all the same interests, but we make a killer team at Trivial Pursuit. Together we are a great team. And hopefully our children will see that it wasn't all about Eric or Anna, but that in some ways we mirrored God's unselfish love in our lives.

Family Pictures

I have never been good at documenting things on film. Our pictorial history is spotty at best. At times we didn't have a camera. Other times I never developed the film. Mostly, though, I was too busy living the moment to take myself out of it to take the picture. Some would remedy this by having pro portraits made, but scheduling professional shots was often out of the question because of financial constraints.

The digital world has been easier on me. I don't have to remember to go get the film developed. I just shoot the pics directly from my camera to Shutterfly and they deliver them to my home. I don't even have to put on makeup or get out of my house shoes.

When our family was small, I could always rely on a shot of all of us at any family gathering. Some brother or sister would snap a picture of the 3 or 4 of us together; sometimes posed, sometimes not. Well as we grew those opportunities didn't just seem to happen anymore. They required concerted effort.

After God carried me through nursing school and I worked for a while, our pocketbooks would allow for the luxury of a professional portrait. We learned our fourth child was on the way. We decided to wait for the little one so that our family would be complete in the picture.

Our fourth child, baby Jack, was stillborn. A few months after he has born, we were supposed to have our pictures made. I couldn't do it. I felt like any picture made of all of us would be a lie. He wouldn't be there. The big gaping hole in our lives would show up on my face. How could we ever have them made now?

Thankfully, even what we can't imagine one day, is possible on another day. After a few years of healing and God's wonderful grace, it was time to make that memory. The same way God revealed Himself so many times through those years, He made His presence known with our family pictures.

I love the work of Brandy Jaggers Photography. A few months ago, she ran a contest on her blog. She asked "How long has it been since you had your family pictures made? Why has it been so long?" She said that she wanted to give a new family portrait to a one that really needed it. I entered my comment. It told a little bit of the story that I have just told you. Well, we won! We were the recipients of a portrait session and a 16X20 print. You can read more here and also see my comment.

I had read about including something of your loved one in your pictures. We brought a Teddy bear that was baby Jack's to the photo shoot.  Even if someone else doesn't know what it means, we do. We were thinking of him and he is a part of our family.

This is the 16X20 that we chose. This is really all we do now (chase Dinah), so I thought it appropriate for capturing the times we now live in.
The pictures were gorgeous and I'm so happy we have them. But, I'm happier to be a part of the family that is in them.

Tess's Birthday Fun

I told you when I posted M&M Night that Tess had some fun coming. She didn't know about it though. Tess recently turned 10. I brought cupcakes to her class and when we were done sipping Capri Suns and licking icing off our fingers, we left for home, or so she thought. Haley, her best friend was waiting in the car. Tess said, "Something weird is going on here." But, she just laughed and was glad to have Haley along.

She already knew that Haley couldn't spend the night and I found out from her comments that she thought we were just taking Haley home. As we drove South and went past the turn off to Haley's house, Tess said, "Momma, Haley lives back there."

I said, "I know." Haley and I just smiled.

Tess began to squeal and ask excitedly, "Where are we going?"

We both said, "You'll know when you get there."

When we turned off at the mall, she started rapid-fire guessing, "Chucky Cheese? T.J. Maxx? Oooo, Toys-R-Us? The Mall, the Mall, the Mall!!!! I guess this is something that I am going to have to get used to. She doesn't seem to care what kind of mall, how big it is, where it is, as long as we are going there. I've never been much of a shopper so the hyperventilation upon approaching "the Mall!" is new to me.

She was still guessing as we walked into the food court entrance of the Barnes Crossing Mall. We went straight to Build-a-Bear.

This was a first for Tess and I, so Haley had to orient us.

The girls chose their rabbits. (Which without their stuffing were kind of creepy to me.) They chose identical bunnies with identical outfits.

Meet Justine, Tess's bunny, and Shine, Haley's bunny. They are best friends just like Tess and Haley.

After leaving Build-a-Bear we headed over to Bath and Body Works and proceeded to smell each and every fragrance available. After our purchase of matching hand sanitizers (these are germ conscious girls), we headed out to find some more fun. We passes a photo booth and the girls were wild to have their pictures made in it. Despite my perfume euphoria, I was still sensible enough (or cheap whichever way you want to look at it) not to want to spend $3 when I already had a camera on hand. Sooooooo......

They were good sports and didn't fuss. I know it isn't the same but, I think they'll live. I had to save our money. We were headed to the movie theatre!

We had a great time watching the latest "Spy Kids", complete with scratch and sniff cards. The movie was really good. After the movie, we headed to Sam's Club to pick up supplies for Daddy.



The bunnys' first trip with their moms' to Sam's. It is the first place I took my newborn children, why not theirs? (I'm just kidding. Don't get worried.)

We wanted to go to Chik-fil-A but apparently everyone else in a 100 mile radius did too. There were no parking places, and the drive thru was back up almost to the bypass. Their second choice was Wendy's. So we ended our night out in Tupelo with Family Game Night toys in our kids meals.

It was a good night. Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

School Begins

Well, another year, another first day picture.

Tess was super excited to go to school so that she could catch up with all of her friends.

Amelia was beyond thrilled to be a first grader.

Ty was, well, let's say he had a grin-and-bare-it attitude. It broke my heart.  Becoming a sixth grader is hard for a fella who doesn't want to grow up.

This is how Dinah felt about her daddy and her siblings going back to school:

I tried to distract her with the camera. She loves to play with electronic devices usually off limits to small ones. She wasn't buyin' what I was sellin'.

She finally got a little happier.

That's my girl. We'll all be back together again at 3 pm.

Mommy and Dinah survived and were ready to hear all about the first day. Amelia says, "First grade is AWESOME!" Tess says, "School is boring," but then can't help but talk excitedly about every detail of the day. Ty fared better than he thought he would and figured out that sixth grade isn't that much different than fifth grade at BES. Same teachers, just different home room. Dad liked high school just as much as he has the last 20 years. 

Lifting My Hands

I Lift My Hands
Chris Tomlin

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak


Let faith arise
Let faith arise


I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever


Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me


So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes


I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

 

When I heard these words for the first time as I listened to Chris Tomlin sing them on the radio, my mind immediately recalled a Sunday worship service a few years ago. I cried as I thought of it and how these words could have been written for me that day.

I can recall almost every detail because of what I experienced. It was the fall of 2008. The weather was unseasonably warm for October. I went to church numb that morning. I had readied myself and my family like a robot going through motions programmed by another. I was overwhelmingly sad. My body felt so heavy, I hardly wished to move it. It was a struggle to rise from bed each morning. It had been almost eight months since Jack died. This cloud of sadness had settled on me at six months. Though the difficult times had come and gone, they hadn't stayed this long and I felt I had been doing so well before it came. I couldn't shake it though. I prayed, meditated on God's word, and longed for the day I would be able to breathe easily again.

I walked into the service that morning with a heavy heart. We began to sing and as usual with the words that were sung, tears came as well. When I heard the notes played for the song, "How Great Is Our God", the tears became small sobs. I began to feel the Holy Spirit close about me as I was reminded of His faithfulness to me. Since I first heard the song, I had loved it. I sang it all the time. Whenever it came on the radio, I turned it up loud and belted it out as loud as my lungs would allow. Those words of praise were so special. In the delivery room, as I delivered our stillborn son, God put those words on my lips. In that room, where I was going through the hardest thing I had ever to do, I felt peace like never before. Instead of despair, God gave me a song. In those moments, I truly understood, "How Great Was Our God" and longed for all to "sing with me" and to know it too.

So again, almost eight months later, I whispered those words to God. And as I sat there, I knew it wasn't enough for Him. For the first time in my life, I rose and lifted my hands heavenward, as high as I could lift them. If Chris Tomlin had been inside my head and heart that day, his words could not have described what I felt more than the words that he wrote a year or two later.


"I lift my hands to believe again

You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever"


I stood there uncaring of what others thought. I was just Anna, broken and nothingness, worshiping God Almighty, the only one who could not only restore me but make me better than I was before. I remembered His faithfulness to me and I lifted my hands to believe again. I sent up my love and received much more in return.

The days that followed were still difficult. But I just had to stop and remember His faithfulness to me.

I and my worship haven't been quite the same since that day.

So click here: I Lift My Hands to listen to Chris Tomlin sing one of my new favorite songs.


Below are some verses from the Bible about lifting hands; hands lifted in anguish, questions, readiness, praise, awe, thankfulness, faith and worship.




And Moses said unto him, As soon as I am gone out of the city, I will spread abroad my hands unto the LORD; [and] the thunder shall cease, neither shall there be any more hail; that thou mayest know how that the earth [is] the LORD'S. And Moses went out of the city from Pharaoh, and spread abroad his hands unto the LORD: and the thunders and hail ceased, and the rain was not poured upon the earth. (Exodus 9:29,33)


But Moses' hands [were] heavy; and they took a stone, and put [it] under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Exodus 17:12)


His own hands shall bring the offerings of the LORD made by fire, the fat with the breast, it shall he bring, that the breast may be waved [for] a wave offering before the LORD. (Leviticus 7:30)


And he shall take a censer full of burning coals of fire from off the altar before the LORD, and his hands full of sweet incense beaten small, and bring [it] within the vail: (Leviticus 16:12)


And Solomon stood before the altar of the LORD in the presence of all the congregation of Israel, and spread forth his hands toward heaven:… What prayer and supplication soever be [made] by any man, [or] by all thy people Israel, which shall know every man the plague of his own heart, and spread forth his hands toward this house:… And it was [so], that when Solomon had made an end of praying all this prayer and supplication unto the LORD, he arose from before the altar of the LORD, from kneeling on his knees with his hands spread up to heaven. (1 Kings 8:22,38,54)


And he stood before the altar of the LORD in the presence of all the congregation of Israel, and spread forth his hands… For Solomon had made a brasen scaffold, of five cubits long, and five cubits broad, and three cubits high, and had set it in the midst of the court: and upon it he stood, and kneeled down upon his knees before all the congregation of Israel, and spread forth his hands toward heaven… [Then] what prayer [or] what supplication soever shall be made of any man, or of all thy people Israel, when every one shall know his own sore and his own grief, and shall spread forth his hands in this house: (2 Chronicles 6:12,13,29)


And at the evening sacrifice I arose up from my heaviness; and having rent my garment and my mantle, I fell upon my knees, and spread out my hands unto the LORD my God. (Ezra 9:5)


And Ezra blessed the LORD, the great God. And all the people answered, Amen, Amen, with lifting up their hands: and they bowed their heads, and worshipped the LORD with [their] faces to the ground. (Nehemiah 8:6)


If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him. (Job 11:13)


Hear the voice of my supplications, when I cry unto thee, when I lift up my hands toward thy holy oracle. (Psalm 28:2)


Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. (Psalm 64:3)


Princes shall come out of Egypt; Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God. (Psalm 68:31)


Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: LORD, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee. (Psalm 88:9)


My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes. (Psalm 119:48)


Lift up your hands [in] the sanctuary, and bless the LORD. (Psalm 134:2)


Let my prayer be set forth before thee [as] incense; [and] the lifting up of my hands [as] the evening sacrifice. (Psalm 141:2)


I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul [thirsteth] after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah. (Psalm 143:6)

For I have heard a voice as of a woman in travail, [and] the anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child, the voice of the daughter of Zion, [that] bewaileth herself, [that] spreadeth her hands, [saying], Woe [is] me now! for my soul is wearied because of murderers. (Jeremiah 4:31)




Arise, cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord: lift up thy hands toward him for the life of thy young children, that faint for hunger in the top of every street. (Lamentations 2:19)


Let us lift up our heart with [our] hands unto God in the heavens. (Lamentations 3:41)


The mountains saw thee, [and] they trembled: the overflowing of the water passed by: the deep uttered his voice, [and] lifted up his hands on high. (Habakkuk 3:10)


And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them. (Luke 24:50)


I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. (1 Timothy 2:8)


Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees. (Hebrews 12:12)

As Long as We Both Shall Live

Eric and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary last week.  Some of these years have been lovely, some have been miserable, and most all of them have been hard work. The words below are not the only vows I took 13 years ago, but they are the ones most commonly shared by couples. I read them from time to time to remind myself of the promises I made that day. I think about the words, how much they encompass and the selflessness they require. Though I fail them sometimes, with God's help, I will keep trying "until death do us part".

If you are married, put your and your spouse's name in the parenthesis and remember these promises with me.


"I, (Name),


Take you, (Name),

To be my (wife/husband);

To have and to hold,

From this day forward,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love, to honor

and to cherish,

'Till death do us part." (or, "As long as we both shall live.")

Lovin' that man of mine,

Anna

M&M Night

Amelia needed some Mommy time so we had an M&M (Mimi and Mommy) night.

As soon as I woke up this evening we got ready for our evening of fun. Tess took this picture of us before we left. (Tess and Mommy evening coming soon.)

Amelia chose the restaurant. (She and her sisters always make me laugh. They have their FAVORITE restaurants and don't want to eat anywhere else. Do you know what they order when they go? A side salad. They don't understand why we don't let them pick the eatery. )

Amelia coloring her picture while we wait on the salad bowls.

Momma and Mimi enjoying the meal.

Ringing the bell after our dinner. Mmmm, good.

The next treat was Baskin Robbins. She would have forgone the dinner and went straight for the dessert if I had let her. She had been planning to take me to Baskin Robbins for a while now.

She cleaned out her piggy bank (and apparently her sister's too, we found out later) so that she could take us for ice cream.

Enjoying our cones. She got chocolate and I got chocolate peanut butter.

On the way home, happy literally pasted on her face, she said, "Momma, I love spending time with you."

Sweet enough to make the heart melt like ice cream on a summer's eve.



The LORD is my Portion

I have always needed lots of sleep or at least that I can remember. (I’ll have to ask momma about the early days and as I am up very early right now, she will probably appreciate that I don’t call her right now to inquire.) Naps are one of the most wonderful things. In high school and college, if the social occasion didn’t end at least by ten p.m., I wouldn’t be able to be there. I trained my little ones early to nap at the same time so Mommy could nap with them.




Lately, I have been having lots of trouble sleeping. (Well, if you can call the past 6 years of working night shift “lately”.) It seems that my world revolves around sleep even more now that I don’t have much of it than it did when I had more than enough.



“When will I sleep?”



“I can’t sleep.”



“Oh, if I could only sleep for a little while!”



“I’m sorry, I can’t come. I have to sleep.”



“Did I wake you up? I never know when you are sleeping.”



And my favorite, “Mommy, why do you sleep all of the time?”



Throw in a few children, a pregnancy or two, sick children, bad dreams, a baby who wouldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time, EVER, and that about wraps up the reasons that I carry so much luggage underneath my eyes and have decided that I might never be able to leave the house without make-up again.



Like as not, if you have had a conversation with me and made the mistake of asking me, “How are you?”, you have heard me talk about sleep or the lack thereof. Poor you. You are probably as tired of hearing it as I am living it. And as you see, here I am again going on about it.



I have been praying to God about this sleep need for a while now. I have asked Him to get me more sleep. I have presented suggestions on how He can make that happen. If He had a mailbox, He would have already received blueprints to 5 different plans. I’ve recruited others to pray about it too. I’m sure Eric has been lifting up prayers each time he rolls his eyes heavenward and sighs because of my general crankiness and or odd times he is left to fend for himself with 4 children. But here I am at what some would call an “ungodly” hour (I don’t because all hours are godly, because He made them and He is up anyway) typing away.



Well, He hasn’t cured my sleep problem yet. Even with all that praying and pleading. This morning, after He had probably given up all attempts of reaching me subtlety, He sent me a message in black and white. Here it is,

2 Corinthians 6: 4-10



“4.But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, 5. in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings, 6. by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, 7. by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, 8. by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as deceivers, and yet true; 9. as unknown and yet well known, as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and yet not killed; 10. as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing, as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing and yet possessing all things.”



Did you read that in verse 5? I am to commend myself as a minister even in SLEEPLESSNESS. I haven’t been much of a minister about it. I have complained myself right out of that. Others are looking at the way I handle my situation. No matter what it is. I am to present myself in “purity, knowledge, longsuffering, kindness, the presence of the Holy Spirit, sincere love, the word of truth, the power of God and the armor of righteousness on all sides” in whatever situation God allows me to be in so that I can show that I can walk the faith I claim.



God’s ways aren’t our ways. God created our bodies for sleeping at times so that we can rest. Am I getting all that I want right now? No. Am I getting all that I need? Apparently, because I haven’t been admitted to the hospital for exhaustion.



Is God using my wakeful times? Yes. In the quiet of early hours , I clean dishes, I sweep floors, I wash clothes. I make food for my family so that we don’t have to eat out all of the time. I am able to spend an hour in His presence soaking up His word, talk to Him and listen to Him. I am able to write down what I am learning. I have been able to exercise on almost all my days off.



Yes, I asked God for sleep. But, I also asked Him for time to clean my house. I asked Him to help me become more disciplined with exercise, food, and time with Him. I asked Him to increase my faith and to help my unbelief. I asked Him for the opportunity to minister to others.



So next time when you ask me, “How are you?”, hopefully my answer will be filled with the ways that God is using my sleepless hours instead of complaining about wanting more sleep. Sleep is good. God is better.



YAHWEH CHELQI “The LORD is my PORTION”

Walking With Sunshine

Dinah and I went walking yesterday morning. Amelia was up early and did not want to be left behind. I was concerned that she would grow tired and want to turn home. I detailed the plan for the walk, with emphasis on the fact that it would be long. She was not deterred. She wanted to go too. She decided to bring her scooter.


I did not keep my usual pace but we were moving steadily at first. Dinah looked at everything around her and kicked her legs happily in her stroller. Amelia talked and talked and talked as she scooted along side us. She barely paused for breath. I was unable to even answer most of her rapid fire questions before she had moved on to the next one. At one point she noticed a bud in my ear and asked, "Are you listening to music?" in an accusatory tone that insinuated that I had not been listening to her. I let her know that it was turned down low and that I only had one in so that I could listen to her. That seemed to be an satisfactory explaination because she resumed her recitation where she left off.

At the halfway mark she asked why her side hurt. I explained that she probably had a cramp. I asked her if she wanted to rest or for me to call her daddy, but she was determined to continue. She was a trooper and she almost made it the entire way. With a quarter of a mile left she allowed her daddy to come pick her up at the "shortcut". Even as she walked up the hill with Daddy on her road and I on the other side of the trees on my road, she talked until she could not see me through the branches. I smiled the entire way home.

Even though I did not sustain my target heart rate for more than a minute at a time, I think the walk was good for me. My heart will last years longer from hearing that sweet little girl say, "I love spending time walking with you, Mommy. This has been the best walk ever!"

Too Cool For Air Conditioning

Well, the air conditioning is out. It has been since Saturday. The temperatures in the upper 90's are really being felt in this house. I ran from the tiny window unit in the unfinished addition to the Towering Inferno that we used to call the upstairs to fetch things to get ready for work. I always forgot something and had to "go back in there." There was a lot of sighing going on. This is where my train of thought took me; Care to take a ride?

Oh my goodness, it's HOT!
Cold shower. check!
Sweating even before done toweling. Bad.
Gather getting ready things, clothes, shoes, watch.
Quickly.
But move slowly.
Need to not sweat more.
Ceiling fan.
Not helping much but moving air.
How do some people do this all summer?
I need to see if we can afford to donate a couple of box fans to the Salvation Army.
Go down stairs to stand with my face 2 inches from window unit to stop melting process.
Thank you, God for air conditioning.
Some people don't have air conditioning.
Tripped on a piece of bedding in the floor of the addition.
Kids thought it was fun camping in the unfinished room.
If this were a covered wagon...I feel like a pioneer.
Thank you, Lord for fun with the kids.
Oh Sugar! I forgot something upstairs!
I'm stinking already.
We think some people smell because they don't take care of themselves.
Maybe they don't have AC.
Maybe instead of being grossed out, we should get to know them and see if they need help.
Don't usually wear perfume to work, but spray, spray.
Thank you, Lord for perfume.
Lord, please don't let my patient's be allergic.
Mop face again.
I'll prop my little blush mirror on the window unit.
Have I thanked you before, Lord, for this amazing invention we call a window unit?
Do I even bother with the make-up?
It is your second night, Anna.
You don't want the patient's who saw you last night worrying if you are unwell.
Maybe I should have called in HOT.
Stop being so dramatic, Anna.
Thank you, Lord, that I'm well enough to work.
Thank you for AC at work.
Dinah's hair is so curly from sweat. She looks so sweet.
I need to get Eric to stay at his dad's with the kids.
Tess and Ty can go to Momma's.
Thank you, Lord for a family that cares and can help.
I bet our electric bill will be lower this month.
Thank you, Lord, that we are able to pay our electric bill.
Please give us the opportunity to pay someone's bill who needs it.
Yay! I made it to the van AC.
Blow, Baby, Blow!
Thank you for a vehicle that has AC that works.
Some people have to drive all summer without it.

As I write this the workmen have come.
I probably shouldn't hug them. It might embarass them.

Update: He says there isn't anything wrong now. It is blowing cool air now. Call us back if it does it again.

Lord, was this a test?
You know the children are going to want to sleep in the floor all the time.
Thank you for the AC perspective.
You know I don't like to get too comfortable.


Anna Becoming

Where Is My Miracle?

Believe it or not, blogging can be hard. Some of the things I write about just pour out of me and I can't wait to get it down. Others, have to roll around in my mind and heart a bit. Sometimes, I don't even want to tell you about it. I often want to hold the moment close and not let go of it, but with time, as God leads, it is better to let it fly to you than for me to continue to cradle it. Then there are experiences that I don't want to share because I am ashamed of them. I don't want anyone to think that I struggle with such a horrible things. I know that Satan loves a secret shame. He wants to hold it over me and condemn me for it. God wants to bring it to light and forgiveness. Also, God has revealed time and again that we humans share struggles and I deeply desire that others benefit  from the retelling of God's faithfulness to me, a faithfulness He offers to all that believe in Him.

This telling of my heart is one I didn't want to write about. I have been explaining to God each time He has urged me to put it down the reasons that I should not share. "God, they are bored to death of that topic, (and by the way, I am too. I'd rather not visit that again, if you don't mind.)" "God, what if it hurts those that I care so much about?" "What if they don't understand or misinterpret my meaning?" He has ignored my explanations and I am here out of a reluctant obedience. He has assured me that it will be okay.

My subject is Jack. Those of you who follow this know that in February it has been 3 years since he went from my body to God's hands. I have also shared with you that for the first year or so, I didn't question God's decision to take him. As I reflect though, I see it was there, I just didn't want to face it. That came later.

The first time I remember it sneaking into my mind, it was brought to me by another, someone who loved me, and dealt with their questions before me. To understand this post, you must know that he was a perfectly formed, beautiful healthy boy until my 38th week who died in utero because of his umbilical cord wrapping around his neck. This person said that they heard testimony of a grandmother rejoicing about her grandchild. Her daughter had an accident late in her pregnancy and even though she was not harmed from the accident an ultrasound was performed as precaution. Because of that ultrasound, the doctors were able to see that the child's umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck and that the baby was in distress. The baby was delivered early as a result and was saved. My loved one brought me her hurt for me. She said that she could hardly bear hearing the story because she wondered to God, "Why did you let her know and not Anna? It would have been that easy for You." At that time, I didn't think about things like that. I couldn't. So the thought was put aside.

Another time that stands out in my memory was at a Wednesday night service, where individuals shared their experiences with guardian angels. I had not even been thinking of Jack that evening when I walked in. Time had passed and God's healing was evident, but all had not been faced, and needed to be. Over and over, as the people spoke of their dire circumstance and of the warning the angel gave them, or of the angel letting them know that they would be safe. As I listened, the grandmother's testimony came to mind. All of these people were given a warning. Silent sobs wracked my body and tears streamed down my face as I sat there.

Where was my warning? Where was my angel? I walked out quickly with my head lowered that evening, afraid to give voice to the turmoil in my heart. I remember talking about it some with Eric and concluding again as always that we don't know why but that He did and that had to be enough.

Time heals all wounds, right? Well, here I am, 3 years later and I still deal with questions and pain. Every time I hear someone say of their unborn baby, "We don't care if it is a boy or a girl, just as long as it is healthy", I feel a twinge in my heart. You see, I and many others I know, would have taken even a sick or broken baby.

And now the worst of it, as I sat the other day truly praising God for miracles in tiny babies' bodies, a thought slips in unbidden. "God, I didn't even get a chance to pray for healing. You didn't even give me the chance to ask You. There was no warning. No angel. No opportunity to plead for his life. I'm so glad for these babies, and I wouldn't take it from them, but you could have healed Jack too. What about me? Where was my miracle, Lord?"

On my face that day, in the floor of my bedroom, after I cried out for forgiveness. He lifted my chin and spoke softly to me words I know as truth:

“ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

And then He said to me,

"I love you, Anna. Where is your miracle?

The miracle is what I am doing in you."

And now even though I don't understand. I don't have to anymore. Those words are enough.

Isaiah 55:8-13

New King James Version (NKJV)
8“ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
12 “ For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

So, if you are looking for your miracle, maybe, just maybe, the miracle is God working in you.

This Is Going to Make You Stronger

I have some friends who are going through some really difficult circumstances. If you knew all the particulars, you would think that those circumstances were hopeless. In and of ourselves, they are. But God is still on His throne. He still cares and loves. He's got you covered. I just wanted to send this out today to let you know I am thinking of you and praying for you. So listen to this song by Mandisa and be encouraged, my friends.

Hey, heard you were up all night

Thinking about how your world ain't right

And you wonder if things will ever get better

And you're asking why is it always raining on you

When all you want is just a little good news

Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head

It's gonna end

God's right there

Even if it's hard to see Him

I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger

Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can

Hold on and let Him hold your hand

And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus

Oh, lift your head it's gonna end

God's right there

Even when you just can't feel Him

I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life

He will be faithful to complete it

If only you believe it

He knows how much it hurts

And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

In time it's gonna get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Love,

Anna